Feeling Stressed? Here are some practical tips to help you cope.

How we think affects how we feel – mind body connection, if we carry around our limiting beliefs, stress and panic, then that is how we will feel and behave accordingly. However, we can change all of this, and below are some ways which I hope will help you become more effective in dealing with stress during the course of your days.

1. Emotional Intelligence, how we relate to ourselves, others and our environment. Self awareness is the key to everything, can you answer the question “What am I feeling and why?” Can you manage your emotions, and make allowances for the other person also. Can you empathise with others? Empathy is the key to relationships.
2. Time management. Keep an eye on time during the day, so that everything is not last minute. Track your ‘To do’ list and keep on top of things. If you have tasks that need to be done, write them down and review the list daily and refresh
3. Write things down! You may have a great memory, but if you keep everything in your head it will become so full and busy that you will have a constant buzz going on, which will only add to your stress. When something has been committed to paper (in a notebook you keep with you), it gives your conscious mind permission to let it go. Review this list daily, and make a new list daily if necessary........whatever suits your work load.
4. Friends and Family. We all need people and support and nurturing. People who have loving supportive networks are happier and more secure in themselves.

5. Ask for Help. We don’t have to do everything on our own, yet we see asking for help as a sign of weakness..........it can be a great sign of strength, it shows you know your abilities and have the courage to ask for help. It will also give others the courage to ask you for help when needed. Win – win situation.
6. Do something for yourself. Looking after yourself first is not being selfish, if you are not functioning effectively then you are no good to others. Look after your own needs and that includes doing something you love to do on a regular basis, e.g. art classes, music, cinema, sports.
7. Boundaries. Separate home from work; Learn how to say ‘NO’; My time, Our time, Work time, Fun time, Down time, Party time, etc.
8. Diet & Exercise
· Cut down on stimulants – coffee, coke, alcohol etc
· Eat regularly and eat healthy food
· Take regular exercise, this will improve well-being and increase energy
· Get plenty of sleep
· Drink water
9. Smile. It is proven that people who are happy and optimistic are more successful in life
10. Do something different. We can so easily get caught up in routine, every once in a while do something different, even out of character......you will be surprised how good you might feel!
11. Other ways to deal with stress.
Japa meditation: Think of a word which will work for you and repeat it over for one minute thinking only of the word. You can do this anywhere. Examples; Calm, relax, peace, it’s ok, confidence etc. This helps our brain relax which helps relax our body.
Breathing; When stressed we breathe in our upper chests, and so many people do not use the full capacity of their lungs. Sit comfortably in a chair (or even when the car is parked), place hands lightly over stomach, and breathe in through your nose slowly. If you are breathing properly, the air will go right down to the bottom of your lungs and will push your stomach out which you will feel in your hands. Breathe out through your nose also. Breathe in for count of eight, hold slightly and breathe out count of eight, hold slightly and repeat.
Visualisation: Close your eyes and remember a place/time you felt happy, relaxed and powerful. Really concentrate on the scene and feelings, and remember when things get stressful you can go back to this place at any time.
Silence: All too often nowadays we are surrounded by noise, noise and more noise. This can become an onslaught to the senses and at some stage we need silence to let our brain relax. It can either be retreating to a place of silence, or having the ability to meditate and completely block out surrounding noises.
"I’ll think about that later": Our heads become so full of things, and when we are trying to relax and rest, thoughts and things we want to remember keep popping up. The more we resist these thoughts the more they persist as we forcefully try not to think about them. Next time this happens just say to yourself “I’ll think about that later” as it gives your mind the permission to let it go for now.
Permission to yourself: Give yourself the permission to take a step back. Give yourself the permission to relax. Give yourself the permission to sit down and read a book. Give yourself the permission to have some time for yourself each day to let go.
Just Stop: Who is pushing you so hard and holding a whip over your back? My guess is you. Just stop whipping yourself, look after yourself the way you look after your family and friends, and you will get as much done and feel better for it. Just stop the musts, shoulds and all that pressure talk and choose to want to do things instead.

Making the most of retirement - Galway Advertiser - September 17, 2009.

Making the most of retirement - Galway Advertiser - September 17, 2009.

Retirement Coaching 4

Have you put any more thought into your retirement as a result of the last blog? Hopefully you have, and hopefully your thoughts are positive ones. At least thinking about it is a step in the right direction. Nowadays, people are living on average, another 30 years after they retire. What a long time to create another phase of your life, or on the other hand an awful long time to just sit and waste, and what a waste that would be!

The ‘Old’ model of retirement, was where you finished your working life and that was it! You had lived your life and now you just kept the engine ticking over as long as you could. No more testing the engine to see how fast it could go, or how efficient it could be, or what its’ limits were or new found strengths. You just settled into a different kind of routine. Thankfully, “The ‘new retirement’ is not an ending, it’s a new beginning, the start of a life journey of vastly expanded proportion” (Richard P. Johnson, PhD).

A retirement research programme was carried out in Australia, the Retire 200 (100 men and 100 women) programme, to identify what it was that caused some retirees to be happy and others less so. Eight areas were found to be extremely significant, and one of them was receiving pre-retirement advice or education. This enabled people to be better prepared for the change, they showed lower levels of depression and a much more positive attitude to their life. The transition from a full-time working life was less stressful as there was a certain security in knowing that a lot of forward thinking had gone into the change. There was less apprehension around losing the familiar, and although change is not always easy, the pre-retirement planning smoothed the way.

Coaching for retirement, enables you to be pro-active and more involved in the whole process of retirement. It gives you the ability to look ahead and consider retirement as just another phase in your life. You are better able to determine what it is you want from life once you retire, and what you definitely don’t want to take forward with you! It enables you to critically look at your life to date, to evaluate the different parts and to decide what is truly important to you. By doing this, you may also come across old goals and dreams that never came to be due to life commitments, and now as retirement is approaching could become a major part of life ahead.

How you use your time in retirement is of the utmost importance. You still need a sense of fulfilment in your days, to feel good about yourself and to feel that you still have a contribution to make to family and/or the community. The Retire 200 programme identified that those retirees who were the happiest and most content, took part in at least five hours of purposeful activities per week. You may ask what is purposeful? Purposeful is whatever is of importance or significance to you, and by pre-planning you can identify these activities. It may be in the home or outside the home, paid work or volunteering in the community, a hobby or furthering your education. It may be something completely new or the continuation of a life long passion, it may be travel and adventure or the start-up of a business project. It is unimportant what the activity is, the only criteria is that it is something that motivates you to engage in it willingly, and that gives you a sense of fulfilment and belonging.

You are moving away from the role you have held most of your adult life, from a place of certainty and routine, this can cause a sense of grieving in some. It is a very daunting time, a time when you need to search for new ways to live your life, “He who cannot find footing, cannot move forward” H.E. Fosdick. Change can be intimidating to some people while others will love the challenge. Whatever your feelings toward the change, you need to have a plan for when you finally leave your job. “Don’t simply retire from something, have something to retire to” H. E. Fosdick.

There are so many things you can do. Just because you are ‘retired’ does not mean that you are finished. Everybody has so many talents and skills, and these don’t suddenly disappear the day they leave work. They may be skills that you thoroughly enjoy using, so why not continue using them in another way in this third phase of your life?
If you have always worked for someone else, maybe now is the time to do something for yourself, or continue in the company you are in, maybe one or two days a week in a consultancy/mentoring role. Even if paid work is not what you are after, how many younger people would love to benefit from some of the skills and expertise you have acquired over the years…..Retirement does not mean ending, it is simply reorganising your life!

If you are interested in Coaching for Retirement please contact me, I will be delighted to hear from you...phone, skype or email.

Retirement Coaching 3

Have you put any more thought into your retirement as a result of the last few blogs? Hopefully you have, and hopefully your thoughts are positive ones. At least thinking about it is a step in the right direction. Nowadays, people are living on average, another 30 years after they retire. What a long time to create another phase of your life, or on the other hand an awful long time to just sit and waste, and what a waste that would be!

The ‘Old’ model of retirement, was where you finished your working life and that was it! You had lived your life and now you just kept the engine ticking over as long as you could. No more testing the engine to see how fast it could go, or how efficient it could be, or what its’ limits were or new found strengths. You just settled into a different kind of routine. Thankfully, “The ‘new retirement’ is not an ending, it’s a new beginning, the start of a life journey of vastly expanded proportion” (Richard P. Johnson, PhD).

A retirement research programme was carried out in Australia, the Retire 200 (100 men and 100 women) programme, to identify what it was that caused some retirees to be happy and others less so. Eight areas were found to be extremely significant, and one of them was receiving pre-retirement advice or education. This enabled people to be better prepared for the change, they showed lower levels of depression and a much more positive attitude to their life. The transition from a full-time working life was less stressful as there was a certain security in knowing that a lot of forward thinking had gone into the change. There was less apprehension around losing the familiar, and although change is not always easy, the pre-retirement planning smoothed the way.

Coaching for retirement, enables you to be pro-active and more involved in the whole process of retirement. It gives you the ability to look ahead and consider retirement as just another phase in your life. You are better able to determine what it is you want from life once you retire, and what you definitely don’t want to take forward with you! It enables you to critically look at your life to date, to evaluate the different parts and to decide what is truly important to you. By doing this, you may also come across old goals and dreams that never came to be due to life commitments, and now as retirement is approaching could become a major part of life ahead.

To be continued...............

Laughter is healthy.......

Laughter is Healthy“The newest research is revealing that patients, doctors and health-care professionals are all finding that laughter may indeed be the best medicine. Laughing is found to lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, increase muscle flexion, and boost immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gamma-interferon and B-cells, which produce disease-destroying antibodies. Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and produces a general sense of well-being. Laughter is infectious. Hospitals around the country are incorporating formal and informal laughter therapy programs into their therapeutic regimens. In countries such as India, laughing clubs -- in which participants gather in the early morning for the sole purpose of laughing -- are becoming as popular as Rotary Clubs in the United States.” – Mary Robinson Reynolds

I received the above in an email from Lea Walters, thanks.

:: Authentic Happiness :: Using the new Positive Psychology

:: Authentic Happiness :: Using the new Positive Psychology

Retirement Coaching

When people first retire, it is like a honeymoon period, everything is still novel and exciting, there is no need to set the alarm clock, you can choose to go wherever you want whenever you want. All the restrictions of working life are gone, and for a while this will feel great, there will be a sense of freedom……physically and psychologically. But will this last if one very important factor has been overlooked, the very thing that kept us going through our life?

Human beings thrive when they feel fulfilled, when they contribute to family and society. We need to have a purpose to get through the day, a reason for getting up in the morning. We need to feel motivated. Will the daily newspaper alone do that for you?

Whatever you did during your working life is irrelevant, whatever your interests are is also irrelevant. You as a person is what is important, and the things that give you a sense of purpose and a reason for getting up in the morning.



So what is the secret to a successful and fulfilled ‘rebeginment’ or retirement? How can you ensure, that the years after you leave fulltime work is fruitful and enjoyable, giving you a sense of purpose? The answer is very simple, Planning.
Every aspect of our life needs a certain amount of planning, yet so many people approach retirement with no planning at all. This is a time when many changes will take place, a time when if not planned properly will create many stresses, worries and possibly boredom. Retirement impacts not only the retiree but also partners and family members. Financial situations need to be looked at carefully and of utmost importance is your own health and fitness – physical and mental.

So how soon do you need to start planning for your retirement, is it not true that you should live each day as it comes…..after all you never know what may happen tomorrow? Absolutely, live each day as it comes and more importantly to the full, but that can also include some forward planning. We never know what is going to happen, so why sit around waiting?

You are never too young to start planning financially. There are many good financial institutions that provide pensions, and investment and financial advice, and with the overall population of the country ageing, there is more responsibility placed on all of us to provide for our own later life. This will be due to a decrease in people of working age, and a continuing increase in people aged 65 and over.

By now you are either looking forward to your retirement or depressed at the thought of it, and if your feelings have changed since you began this article what has happened? Have you realised you are totally unprepared for the changes about to occur or are you at the start line ready for off?

Over the next few weeks we will be looking at the whole process of planning for retirement, from a relationship, health, and use of time perspective. Looking at how you can still contribute to the community or work force and why it is never too late to start something new!

And back to our old friend Oliver Wendell Holmes who said “Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing”.

Retirement Coaching

Retirement, this is something we are all moving towards, an inevitable part of our lives……how close are you? Is it 10 or 20 years away, 5 years or just 1 year? And how are you feeling towards this impending change in your life, do you consider this to be a period of growth or decline? Do you think all will be over when you retire, or are you looking forward to new challenges in your life?

When asked how he felt about growing old, the American poet Oliver Wendell Holmes (then in his 70’s) replied, “It is better to be 70 years young than 40 years old!” This is a great attitude, but alas not the attitude everyone has towards age and retirement.

Personally, I have a problem with the word “RETIREMENT”. The definition is “to give up one’s work…..to withdraw, as to a secluded place……to retreat”. Since 1900, life expectancy has increased dramatically, people are living longer and healthier lives. In turn the number of years they have after they retire has increased, also more and more people are opting for early retirement. Do you think they all want to withdraw and retreat? I don’t think so, certainly Oliver Wendell Holmes didn’t. Brendan Kennelly (poet and Professor of Modern Literature at DCU), also shares this view and suggests a new word “Rebeginment” to indicate another beginning or era ahead, with new challenges. After all this is just another phase in our life…..first we had school, then work and now ‘rebeginment’.

We all dream of having the time to buy the paper each day and read it from cover to cover; of being able to take part in our favourite activities more often, whether golf or gardening; of at last having time to read all the books on that list; time to visit cities, like Paris, Prague, or other destinations. So many things you have always wanted the time to do, and now retirement will give you that time, or will it? ...............to be continued.

If you would like the rest of this article before the next post, email info@nucleuscoaching.com

At Nucleus Coaching we specialise in Retirement Coaching and will work with you to lay down plans for a fulfilled retirement. We work face to face and over the phone, for details email or call +353 86 6007125 0r +353 65 6820676.

How effective are you right now?

Life is very challenging at the moment for most people, and our inner most strengths and skills are being put to the test daily.
What we had grown to consider secure has been suddenly taken away.
The outcome of careful and well thought out decisions, made in order to prepare for the future, will not be as planned.

So will all of this have an effect on us as a person? The answer to that is yes. We will question what we have done, decisions and choices we have made, paths we have chosen to walk. We will question our own abilities and this will impact on our confidence, self-esteem and feeling of worth............We will doubt and second guess ourselves where once we would have moved forward with confidence.

In the months ahead, it is the soft skills of building confidence, personal effectiveness, assertiveness training etc that will we will need to build. We will need to help ourselves bounce back from what has been a real shock to our systems. We will need to nurture and build ourselves back up as people, from the inside, from our core, from what makes us strong. If we do that, we will be able to use the skills and abilities we possess in order to 'pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again.'

So, how is your confidence right now, and are you reeling from present situations? If so maybe you need to take stock of yourself as a person and look after that first before you can tackle the rest.

At Nucleus we have just started one day 1:1 Personal Effectiveness days which will look at these very issues and which will be tailored to each individual. If you would like more information please email or call.

Unemployed and not sure how to cope?

With the dramatic changes which have taken place recently in the economy & workplace, so many people have suddenly found themselves unemployed, even from what would traditionally have been seen as secure jobs. This sudden loss can have quite a negative impact on people, as shock and anger can be two emotions which cloud everything else.

Dealing with unemployment is not always easy, huge changes take place and people find themselves pushed out to sea without a compass:

• They are not sure which way to turn
• How to deal with the sudden rushes of emotion, and how to identify what the emotions are
• The feelings of failure and hopelessness
• The lack of motivation
• The lack of pride in a "job well done"
• The lack of status
• And many other things, feelings and emotions

If you find yourself identifying with any of the above, then coaching is for you. Coaching is carried out through a series of meetings and conversations, in a totally confidential and non-judgemental setting. The topic is yours to decide and support and encouragement is always assured from your coach.

Would you like to be able to use this time in a pro-active and constructive way, rather than being reactive and causing yourself and your family disruption and stress? Then call Eileen to arrange a consultation now, at +353 86 6007125.

(Coaching can be carried out, face-to-face or by phone).

What would you really like to do?

Times are difficult right now and if you have a job you are lucky, as so many people are losing them, and forecasters are predicting that this will continue for the immediate future - even into next year. Sounds great, hey?
O.K. so things are not extremely rosy right now, and prospects are not looking good either, however, you have a choice. You can choose to use this time right now to prepare for the future, or you can choose to vegetate on the sofa and fall victim................WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE?????
This may seem a little harsh, yet it is realistic. After boom times come slumps, and after slumps (or raging recessions!) come good times. This recession will not last, and when things do begin to improve if you are not ready you will be left behind.
One of the best ways to prepare is to discover where you are right now, and where you would like to see yourself going. At Nucleus, we will work with you over approximately 6 - 8 sessions to bring you to an "Ideal Job Template". This template is arrived at through Career Coaching which will help you explore your work life to date, your skills and how they have been best used, the areas in which you have worked, how you have performed and enjoyed the work, practical issues, career anchors and many other aspects that go into determining what is an ideal job for you.
Career Coaching is not just for the times when you find yourself out of a job, it is as valid when you are still employed, as you may reach a point in your career where you start to question the decisions you have made to date; should I have stayed here all these years? should I have taken that promotion? should I have left and done something else? will I have regrets in years to come? If you take the time now to explore and look at all these questions, you will ensure that you will not have regrets in years to come.
Career Coaching at Nucleus is not just about preparing you for the job market, it is about helping you prepare to face life knowing which way you want to go.

How do you choose to feel?

Tues april 7th and budget day! There has been so much uncertainty and doubt around; so much lack of confidence and belief in our Leaders; so much fear. So how do you now choose to feel?

I know what I am gong to feel, and that is the same way I always do. I know what is going on around me and want to, it is important to keep up with news and events. However, it is up to me whether or not I choose to let the current events get to me or not. We have all in some way or another been affected by the economic downturn, and everyone has had to pull in their horns, so to speak, however does this have to affect the way we feel? My answer to that is no.

If we get so caught up in the negativity and gloom, we will not have the capacity to see any small glimmer of light or hope. We will not have the ability to see the daffodils shining in the sun, We will not be able to appreciate the sound of children laughing in the garden next door, or the birds singing now the evenings are getting longer. I am aware that some people have been harder hit than others, but while we can still eat, sleep and breathe their is hope, and hope is what has brought victory to people and countries.

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor Frankl

Just leave it alone!

How hard it is to realise we cannot control everything in our lives.

How difficult it is to just step back and let things happen rather than making them happen.

What is it with us that we cannot be like a blade of grass? Decide to grow and just grow!

We are so caught up in the outcome that we miss all the oppotunities along the way. We invest so much energy in the outcome - (the way it has to be), that we have hardly any energy left to carry out our plans. It's like holding on so tightly to a rope in case we fall of, that we have no energy or attention left to think of ways to get onto a ledge!

In these challenging times (and I refuse to use the 'R' word), where is your energy and attention? What are you focusing on? Are you so caught up in the future that you are missing what is going on today, that you may be missing small opportunities along the way? Of course we need to be aware of what is going on around us, and we need to have an idea of where we are headed, however, holding onto that idea with both hands so tightly that we cannot let go will drain all of our energy and resources.

Trust yourself, your skills and abilities; What is your desired outcome? What is your plan? Make your decisions and work your plan. If things change along the way have a look at the options, yes it may change the outcome maybe even for the better. We cannot predict the future, however be are aware of what you are doing now.

Limiting Beliefs

In the last post I mentioned the limiting beliefs that can hold us back and prevent us from doing things. We start to form beliefs about ourselves, true or untrue, from the moment we can understand what is going on. We listen to what is being said to us or about us, we watch family members react to things and learn from this, we learn from our peer group at school and from programmes we watch.......all of this going on when we are young and easily influenced. So often the beliefs we hold are untrue and are disempowering, and they can stay with us for many years, if not our whole life. Such a shame if we let an untrue belief affect such a chunk of our life, and prevent us from reaching our true potential!
So what can we do about them? How do we know what they are?
Start with that sentence or word which always pops up in your head, that nagging voice which appears when you are about to step out of your comfort zone. Begin to take notice of what is said and when, and ask yourself if it is true or not. You may be surprised at the inner dialogue which goes on, a dialogue you may be so accustomed to you are unaware of it. What true statement can you replace this with? A sentence which will help to give you the strength and courage to take that step forward, and when the old untrue sentence pops up, just replace it with the new sentence.
Yesterday, I was watching my 18 month old Great Niece when we were out for a walk. Her wellies were a bit too big even with thick socks, yet each time she fell over she just got up and continued on. She would not take anybodies hand or accept the fact that she was rather unsteady on her feet, as far as she believed she could walk and that's what she did. Henry Ford believed that if we think we have the ability to do something then we can do it, and if we think we can't do it then we can't......think about it -Maybe it's time to wave those old beliefs goodbye!

Newsletter

Sent my first newsletter out to people this morning, it took a while to do it, after all when I was going to school there were no computers! The satisfaction of setting up and putting in place my first newsletter campaign was tremendous.
All too often we don't do something beause of fear, in case we might fail. This fear holds us back from attempting so many things, things we could be good at if only we would try. Even if we don't succeed or have to ask for help, so what, the satisfaction of having had the courage to have a go can be worth it. The learning involved is also huge and will help us in many other areas, e.g. conversation.......now I know what HTML is and UNSUB Merge! Last Monday I had heard these terms but that was it.
How many limiting beliefs are holding you back from possibly realising how many things you are good at and enjoy?
On this beautiful Spring day, throw caution to the wind and GO FOR IT! At least think about it.

Nucleus Coaching is moving......

Did you think I had fallen off the face of the earth? No, still here and working away, and still loving every minute of what I do.
I began coaching full-time 2 years ago and set up Nucleus Coaching. Things have been going very well for me and are continuing to do so. I started coaching around Life issues only, and this quickly changed to include Career and Business. Around this time I began looking at the area of Retirement Planning, and put together a 2 Day Retirement Planning workshop which has proved to be very successful.
I will be moving offices mid-March to The Ozone Centre, Quin Road Business Park. Here I will have a larger office where I will be able to work with groups of up to 6. To start I will be running the following courses: 1 Day "How to Cope with Stress", 1 Day Intensive Retirement Planning, 2 Day Redundancy Programme.
You may ask me am I mad in todays environment moving to a larger space? My answer is no. This feels right, I will be able to do what I do well in a more flexible way. I can also offer CV & Interview Preparation, Presentation Skills. None of this will interefere with my Coaching practice, and I still offer 1-1 coaching - Career, Business and Personal.
I hope I see some of you at the new office and if you are interested in anything please give me a call.

Happy New Year

We spent Christmas with my sister and her family this year and it was lovely. Relaxed, fun, family, love, everything Christmas should be. New Year we also spent with family and again the same thing, everything it should be. It is great to be able to come out of the Christmas season with that to report, as I know it's not true for so many people, so many families. I can't change all those situations, however I can truly enjoy mine and hopefully the good energy will add to the greater good.
One thing my sister said on Christmas day when we were out for a walk (short walk!) was how she loves January, because the trees start to show signs of new buds straight away and it marks the beginning of the new....Spring just around the corner. I have always felt the same, yet I never knew how she felt. It's amazing how well you think you know someone, there is always more to discover. I think that's exciting and it relates to every facet of our lives, even ourself . As well as we think we have our own self sussed, there is always so much more. So much more we can discover; so much more potential; so much more capacity for learning, loving, enjoying, laughing etc etc.

I wish you all a truly wonderful New Year of discovery........discovery of you and others. Don't let the media and governments and whoever get you down, use this time to discover what you are really made of and what is truly important to you.

Happy New Year :o)