New Beginnings........................

Life throws many curve balls at us and how we deal with them determines how we move forward. Before the curve ball, plans may have been laid which still have to be followed through and on top of that the new demands and needs of the current situation also need to be looked after.
So what do we need in order to be able to cope with all of this pressure and turmoil, both emotional and physical?

Within all of us are hidden enormous wells of strength which we can call to the fore at times like these. The problem is that so few of us have ever become aware of what we have inside, of what we are truly capable, of who we really are, that we are oblivious to this inner power. We are not islands and we need others to help us through, with support and love, and if we can also tap into our own inner strength this will help us even more.

So sit back and close your eyes and just ask yourself how you have shown strengths in the past....

• Where did you give support to others?
• When did you get through something which was challenging?
• How did you succeed when you thought you would fail?
• What did you do which brought a smile to someones face?

And any other questions which will have you searching inside for anything which will raise your knowledge of what you 'have' inside.

You have given support and strength to others without thinking of it in the past, now think about these times and begin to realise the strengths you possess inside.

What's so important about Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence or EI?

EI is the difference between the child who was never really great at school who became successful as an adult, and the child who had straight A's and did not. It is that ability to get on in life and manage and cope with what is going on within you and around you.

Salovey & Meyer describe it as "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions" which pretty much sums it up.

In today's world, employers and companies are realising the importance of EI in the workplace. An individual who has good emotional intelligence is a more productive and effective employee; and if there is a culture of emotional intelligence within a company, this will lead to higher productivity, lower staff turnover and much more besides.

EI can be introduced to a company or individual by either assessment or awareness training and there is proven return on investment.

The applications of EI are many, from Leadership Development, Recruitment, Team Development, Personal Growth, Preparation for Retirement and much more.

If you are interested in learning more about EI please contact Eileen by phone 086 6007125 or email info@nucleuscoaching.com

"Those executives who lacke EI were rarely rated as outstanding, and their divisions underperformed by an average of almost 20%"

Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review 2000.

Retirement plans can start at anytime..............

Retirement is probably the furthest thing from your mind, especially if you are in your 40's or 50's, however it is never too early to begin thinking about and planning for your retirement.

Now I am all for living in the now, I do not believe in living in the past or the future, today is where we are and we need to be able to savour and experience the best that life has to offer. That is why it is so important to begin thinking about the future in a small way so that when you do retire you will continue to enjoy and savour life and get the best out of this time.

I have no intention of 'retiring' as in giving up work in the traditional sense when I reach my 60's (Iam now in my late(ish) 40's), and like the new wave of retirees intend to work to some degree as long as possible so that I can still contribute, feel productive and feel good in and about myself. That's my choice, there may be others to do want to retire in the traditional sense and be able to have as much leisure and free time as possible. However, what we each choose to do is not what's important, it's whether or not we prepare so that whatever we want retirement to look or feel like for us will become a reality

Goal setting for the year ahead........

To follow on from the blog a week or so ago.

If any of you would like to know how to set a goal so that it is achieveable for you, email me on info@nucleuscoaching.com for a free white paper.

You will learn how to set a goal, and bring it through to what you will acknowledge as the point of achievement.

Looking forward to hearing from you all

The third Monday of the year..........

The first thing I heard on the radio this morning is that according to a researcher, this is to be the most depressing day of the year! Well I don't know about you but today I feel fine, in fact quite good.
Now yesterday, that was another thing. I woke up after a great nights sleep and jumped out of bed. I decided to cook crepes for breakfast with raspberries, yummy. I love Sunday mornings, breakfast, fresh coffee, papers and conversation....no rush, and we didn't have to be or do anything, fantastic.

Yet within about 5 minutes of being up I got this niggly unsettled feeling in my tummy and head. Trouble is these things don't like to be ignored or resisted as that only gives them strength and substance and almost a significance, and as much as I know about how to deal with these things every now and again I forget and fall into an old behaviour which is not effective. Rather than accepting that I did't feel very 'special' and that 'it's ok as it will pass', I kept thinking about it and trying to figure it out. Of course if we keep thinking about something, we place all our focus on it which gives us more of the same. So instead of having a really nice relaxing morning from the minute I got up, it was a couple of hours later when I became aware of what I was doing that I eventually settled into the gentle swing of the day.

We are not always the relaxed, happy person we want to be. Sometimes we are not at full par. Accept that things are not so special at the moment and that it will pass. The exercise of doing that will reduce any resistance, and where there is no resistance there is no insistance.

It's ok not to be ok all of the time. Be kind to yourself and accept yourself.

So what's ahead for this year?

If I were to ask you what would you like to achieve this year, could you answer me?

If I were to ask you what would you like your life and/or business to look like this time next year, could you answer me?

All too often we just travel the road without knowing where we are going, and then when something goes wrong we go into a speed wobble from this unexpected 'how did this happen?' hurdle which has appeared. We then spend valuable time trying to sort it out get back ontrack, which is sometimes easier said than done.

What would it be like if we actually sat down and took some time to look ahead and to decide what direction we would like our life and business to take. If we really focused on where we would like to go and how we could get there.

Firstly decide on what you would like to achieve, the direction you would like to go.....are you being realistic, is it really achieveable for you? Be honest with yourself and yet don't sell yourself short at the same time.

If it is achieveable then start looking at the options which will take you there:

• how are you going to do it?


• what resources do you need?


• who could help you ?

and any other questions which will tease out this stage for you. If it is not achieveable then look at what would make it achieveable.

When you have a focus and have looked at the options, then lay a time plan for yourself. When you want to have the different things/stages completed by and write these down. If it helps set little rewards for yourself when things have been achieved and maybe ask a colleague/partner to keep you accountable on each step of the way, less likely to fall behind if you have to answer to someone.

The one important thing to remember is that things do not always go to plan and a certain amount of flexibility will be needed. If this happens at any stage, just sit down with a pen and paper and go back to the options stage and start teasing them out again.

And of course to put all of this in place and to get where you want to go this time next year, you will also need a good dollpo of commitment.

Happy New Year to you all and if any of you would like to take this further please contact me

Feeling Stressed? Here are some practical tips to help you cope.

How we think affects how we feel – mind body connection, if we carry around our limiting beliefs, stress and panic, then that is how we will feel and behave accordingly. However, we can change all of this, and below are some ways which I hope will help you become more effective in dealing with stress during the course of your days.

1. Emotional Intelligence, how we relate to ourselves, others and our environment. Self awareness is the key to everything, can you answer the question “What am I feeling and why?” Can you manage your emotions, and make allowances for the other person also. Can you empathise with others? Empathy is the key to relationships.
2. Time management. Keep an eye on time during the day, so that everything is not last minute. Track your ‘To do’ list and keep on top of things. If you have tasks that need to be done, write them down and review the list daily and refresh
3. Write things down! You may have a great memory, but if you keep everything in your head it will become so full and busy that you will have a constant buzz going on, which will only add to your stress. When something has been committed to paper (in a notebook you keep with you), it gives your conscious mind permission to let it go. Review this list daily, and make a new list daily if necessary........whatever suits your work load.
4. Friends and Family. We all need people and support and nurturing. People who have loving supportive networks are happier and more secure in themselves.

5. Ask for Help. We don’t have to do everything on our own, yet we see asking for help as a sign of weakness..........it can be a great sign of strength, it shows you know your abilities and have the courage to ask for help. It will also give others the courage to ask you for help when needed. Win – win situation.
6. Do something for yourself. Looking after yourself first is not being selfish, if you are not functioning effectively then you are no good to others. Look after your own needs and that includes doing something you love to do on a regular basis, e.g. art classes, music, cinema, sports.
7. Boundaries. Separate home from work; Learn how to say ‘NO’; My time, Our time, Work time, Fun time, Down time, Party time, etc.
8. Diet & Exercise
· Cut down on stimulants – coffee, coke, alcohol etc
· Eat regularly and eat healthy food
· Take regular exercise, this will improve well-being and increase energy
· Get plenty of sleep
· Drink water
9. Smile. It is proven that people who are happy and optimistic are more successful in life
10. Do something different. We can so easily get caught up in routine, every once in a while do something different, even out of character......you will be surprised how good you might feel!
11. Other ways to deal with stress.
Japa meditation: Think of a word which will work for you and repeat it over for one minute thinking only of the word. You can do this anywhere. Examples; Calm, relax, peace, it’s ok, confidence etc. This helps our brain relax which helps relax our body.
Breathing; When stressed we breathe in our upper chests, and so many people do not use the full capacity of their lungs. Sit comfortably in a chair (or even when the car is parked), place hands lightly over stomach, and breathe in through your nose slowly. If you are breathing properly, the air will go right down to the bottom of your lungs and will push your stomach out which you will feel in your hands. Breathe out through your nose also. Breathe in for count of eight, hold slightly and breathe out count of eight, hold slightly and repeat.
Visualisation: Close your eyes and remember a place/time you felt happy, relaxed and powerful. Really concentrate on the scene and feelings, and remember when things get stressful you can go back to this place at any time.
Silence: All too often nowadays we are surrounded by noise, noise and more noise. This can become an onslaught to the senses and at some stage we need silence to let our brain relax. It can either be retreating to a place of silence, or having the ability to meditate and completely block out surrounding noises.
"I’ll think about that later": Our heads become so full of things, and when we are trying to relax and rest, thoughts and things we want to remember keep popping up. The more we resist these thoughts the more they persist as we forcefully try not to think about them. Next time this happens just say to yourself “I’ll think about that later” as it gives your mind the permission to let it go for now.
Permission to yourself: Give yourself the permission to take a step back. Give yourself the permission to relax. Give yourself the permission to sit down and read a book. Give yourself the permission to have some time for yourself each day to let go.
Just Stop: Who is pushing you so hard and holding a whip over your back? My guess is you. Just stop whipping yourself, look after yourself the way you look after your family and friends, and you will get as much done and feel better for it. Just stop the musts, shoulds and all that pressure talk and choose to want to do things instead.